The fear of not being good enough.

I’m going to quote Brene Brown – “Shame is the most powerful emotion. It’s the fear that we are not good enough”

Reading this was hard. It had the same effect as rubbing salt into a wound. This hurt, really hurt.

I am the forever saying-sorry-person. When, or should I say, if I can get out of the house, I change my clothes at least three times. Because no matter what outfit I put on I still feel ashamed. I don’t start a conversation with anybody because I always feel such a bore. I follow my husband around like a sick puppy. And at conversations I nod like a monkey that gets a penny. I am so ashamed of myself its even hard for me to say it out loud because of what you might think of me.

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Quack

Here did it all start.
I was teaching a Adobe Photoshop course and I wanted the students to learn blending modes and color in a fun way.  One day I found a bunch of black and white images and thought this would be the answer to my quest.
So I stared colouring, masking and playing with the image. Making a serious photograph of a goose stepping soldier into a fun half waterbird half soldier. 

 

Quack
– Quack – © Sabrina M – 2015 –

 

Why do I create?

Photography is phototherapy for me. It all started when I was diagnosed being an Asperger girl. Before that I suffered from severe depressions, was called manic depressed or the said I had on acceptable social behaviour and the list goes on and on. Until … Asperger. I got the advise “you are bored out of your brain”, your brain needs food, you are bored out”.

So I picked up my camera and start learning again. Not just clicking everything I saw but really tried to ventilate my troubles and emotions.

And so my fine art started.

I always start from an emotion, a story, a struggle, something I want to ventilate and channel into a image. At first it was all about releasing cropped up emotions until more and more people started asking me about my art. People begun to tell me their stories, their hurts and hurdles, their struggles. And I realised I was making art not only to help me self, it also helped others with their feelings.

So gradually my fine art became not only important for me, but it opened conversations. It’s all about sharing, getting stuff out there, opening up boxes that would otherwise kept closed. Giving dark images sense of hope. Showing everyone goes through dark times and that it’s normal to have dark or weird feelings sometimes even you yourself don’t understand. No Facebook or Instagram wall shows us real life, no ones life is instaperfect.

On the other hand I’ve been creating some pop surreal images too. You could say it’s miles apart from my fine art but actually it isn’t. As a kid I’ve always been called weird or different. Nothing a kid wants to hear, they just want to be a part of the big “normal” tribe.

But now I know I am weird and different although this has cost me half a lifetime to accept. I’m not a typical grey mouse and I’m beginning to be proud of it. So why not show my twisted side too. You could say they are the opposite of the darker fine art images. Although still strange or creepy most of them put a smile on peoples faces. And the conversations don’t go about deep difficult emotions but the images open up conversations too. They are more an expression of the “newly accepted me” more fun, less serious, still strange.

I’d love to hear your stories. So let’s share them. Don’t be afraid. I may be weird but I don’t bite 😉

You can follow my fine art on my Facebook page Fine art by Sabrina-M

Or Instagram @sabrinamfineart

And website Sabrina-M

My pop surrealism page Passé composé – Instagram @sabrinampassecompose

“Flying is done largely with the imagination”

This is the work I’ve made with the tea topic question “What would you like to do that you’ve never done before” .
Well, I would love to fly, not in an airplane or ULM or even jump out of a plane with a parachute. No, I mean really fly. Spread my wings and take off, just like that. Quiet frankly this is only possible in the imagination.
⭐️I hope you like it, give comments and share it with your friends.⭐️
http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.

Sketching Wednesday

Monday I have asked you 👉🏻👉🏻What would you like to do that you’ve never done?👈🏻👈🏻

Today I show you my sketch.
can you guess what’s it about?

http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.13-.jpg

Mondays question, last one

👉🏻👉🏻What would you like to do that you’ve never done?👈🏻👈🏻
 
It’s the last of the tea topics questions. 12 weeks have gone by, 12 questions answered. That you all took part in answering some of the questions.
 
It would be nice if you all share your thoughts and dreams with me. Friday you’ll find out what my thought was and what piece of art I made with this question as an inspiration.
 
http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.nooit-gedaan.jpg

Loss

This is the work I’ve made with the tea topic question “what’s your worst nightmare’ in mind.
The stork symbolizes motherhood and new birth. He’s flying out of the frame away from the lady, a sign of lost motherhood.

⭐️I hope you like it, give comments and share it with your friends.⭐️

http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.

Web41-Loss.jpg

Sketching Wednesday

Monday I have asked you 👉🏻👉🏻What’s your worst nightmare?👈🏻👈🏻
 
Today I show you my sketch. I think its a topic many parents can relate to, losing a child would be my worst nightmare. The stork symbolizes motherhood and new birth. He’s flying out of the frame away from the lady, a sign of lost motherhood.
 
http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.
12-Wat_is_je_ergste_nachtmerrie_Kind_verliezen_.jpg

Monday’s question.

👉🏻👉🏻What’s your worst nightmare?👈🏻👈🏻
 
It would be an honor if you would share your nightmares. Friday you’ll find out what my thought was and what piece of art I made with this question as an inspiration.
 
http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.nachtmerrie.jpg

Sometimes home is a person

“Sometimes home is a person”
Wednesday I asked you all the question, 👉🏻What was your last thought yesterday?
I often think about moving. I’m not exactly satisfied to live in this area and this house. I’m often dreaming with my husband, our daughter and her family to immigrate to France. But that does not really happen. I like solitude, minimalism, tranquility and living in a city like Antwerpen all these things fairly impossible. But you should never give up your dreams, you never know.
 
I hope you like it, give comments and share it with your friends.
http://www.sabrina-m.be/ to sign up for my newsletter and see all my latest work.
If you want to #buy an #limited museum quality Glicee artprint or represent me in your gallery just mail me.
Web44-Sometimes-home-is-a-person.jpg